waiting room – D.e.e.L

mags on a small table. ten chairs.
emergency instructions on the wall.
i’d just panic.
man with his arms folded stares blankly at the wall beside me
or maybe looking over when my eyes are locked into my phones screen.
don’t forget to bring your insurance card.
did you fast today?
give me your arm so i may drain it
now your heart
your head
let me take it all
the walls slamming into one another
i feel faint
i needed that blood
why did i take it?
that thin muck from my viens
slippery and bitter
fix your diet
less nonsense and more protien
no more ramen
or rice for every meal
grab a steak and cook it for fifteen minutes tonight
cayenne pepper and crushed red pepper
smother it
make it hot
spicy
you deserve it
the heat will transcend you
fix your blood flow
somehow and someway
it will feed you more and more
each hour
every minute
so that next time
when the blood is being run dry
it will burn the needle’s tip
melt it into your wound
and let you live
let you keep your life.
“thanks” you will say
to yourself in the mirror
in the portal to another you
i needed that and i thank you for it
i feel quenched
like a spider on the spider web just as the rain hits
and the threads are still linked together
before – pluck, pluck, pluck, they begin to snap from the barn doors frame – pluck, pluck, woosh
and the spider vanishes
without a “goodbye”
or even a “hello” in the first place
a mag falls from the small black table
crashes to the ground and only i and the new mate hear it
the man now getting his blood taken
and the woman that was in prior now sits across from me
popping pills

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