Hank and Dan – 6 Guns – Movie Review

by: D.e.e.L

 

“What is this movie and why haven’t I ever heard of it? Have you been downloading pirate movies again?”

“Pirate movies? What are you even talking about? This movie is a western, Hank.”

“You know what I mean; you downloaded this movie off the internet for free.”

“That’s…you’re an idiot.”

“I’m a what?!”

“You know, let’s just stop. We have a movie review to do here.”

“We most certainly will not ‘just stop’ until you apologize.”

“So in the movie…”

“Oh, you didn’t…”

“…There are guns being used. Six of them I suppose, at least maybe.”

“Have you even finished watching this movie?”

“I’m half way through it!”

“Why haven’t you finished it yet?”

“Because I thought of a great introduction to this review before I was able to finish the movie.”

“Who just stops during the middle of a movie to write an introduction to the review?”

“I actually stopped to get coffee, and then decided to look at funny videos online for a bit…and then…I thought of this line and just had to start writing the review before I finished watching the movie.”

“We had better finish it then.”

“Shhh…”

“What?”

“I’m watching the movie.”

“Right now?”

“Yes, shhhh…”

“Are you done yet?”

“I just finished it.”

“Did you like it? Was it good?”

“You tell me, you were sitting only two chairs over from me while it was on.”

“I was eating gummies though.”

“You can eat gummies while still paying attention to a movie.”

“Don’t tell me what I can do. I know what I can do, Dan!”

“Eh…right…so, did you like the movie?”

“Yea, it was pretty good. A lot of whiskey and killin’.”

“That’s not all the movie was about. There was a lot of heart too.”

“I mean…I guess, but also lots of…”

“We get it!”

“Who’s we?”

“Me and the people reading this.”

“People actually read this?”

“Good point. So other than whiskey and killin’ what else did you like about the movie?”

“The shootin’.”

“Why can’t you use ‘ing’ when saying words?”

“Because there weren’t no ‘i-n-g’ in the ol’ west, partna.”

“None of that made any sense. I for one liked how the bounty hunter came in and acted all tough, eating soup and reading.”

“Those things are tough? Psh, I must be the toughest person ever then!”

“Hank…”

“What, Dan?”

“You don’t read.”

“Just because I don’t read doesn’t mean that I don’t consider it.”

“That is not a valid point.”

“You’re not a valid point…”

“What did you just say?”

“You are a really good…moint.”

“Moint?”

“It’s a thing.”

“Where? Mars?”

“Psh….Mars. More like Canada.”

“I’ve never heard anyone from Canada ever say ‘moint’.”

“They say it all the time.”

“You mean ‘mount’?”

“No, no, they definitely say moint.”

“This movie review is going horribly.”

“Well it’s your fault, Dan.”

“How is it my fault?”

“You wasted the first half without even finishing the movie. This review was doomed from the beginning.”

“That’s not true. You got us off topic aaaand didn’t even pay attention to the rest of the movie because you were eating gummies.”

“What kind of pirate movie is about cowboys anyway?”

“This wasn’t a pirate movie! And I watched it on Netflix!”

“Remember…remember when the lady had messy hair?”

“Do you remember?”

“Of course, I was watching the movie. Not like someone else…*cough* Dan *cough*”

“This review is over…”

“You have to rate the movie first!”

“2 out of 5 bottles of multivitamins.”

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