Hank and Dan’s Movie Reviews – Jack Reacher

 

 

“Hey, Dan! What are you watching!?”

“You…what? The same thing you’re watching!”

“Not the way I see it. I just saw you check your phone…we’re you texting a giiiiiiiirl?”

“Shut up, Hank.”

“0o0o0o0o0o0o!”

“Shut up!”

“Okay, okay, geez…soooo, what did you think about the movie?”

“The movie with a short guy with black hair playing a character that is supposed to be big and blonde?”

“Yea, that one. And I think he has brown hair.”

“I thought it was good. I lot of violence and that part where he remembered the serial number of the gun later on in the movie when it didn’t really make sense to mention anymore, that was good too.”

“Was that sarcasm?”

“Depends.”

“You…you said you wouldn’t mention that…”

“Not depends as in…geez, Hank. Let’s try to stay on topic this time. We’re talking about a movie and we have to rate it so that people can decide whether or not they want to watch it.”

“Sooo, we’re doing a public service? Do we get paid?”

“Do we eeeever get paid?”

“I don’t know. I figured you were handling all that stuff. Do we?”

“Shut up, Hank. And no…we don’t. But to stay on track what did you think of the movie?”

“I liked the part when he beat up all those people after telling them how he was going to beat them up.”

“That’s very descriptive of you. Remind me why I decided to do movie reviews with you again?”

“Because you like to talk to yourself.”

“Hmmm…that’s actually not a bad point. Could you say a bit more about the movie?”

“Yea.”

“Will you?”

“Yea.”

“Now?”

“Yea.”

“…”

“A man from nowhere comes to somewhere and solves a crime and then leaves again, but not without beating people up and making a woman think she has a chance with him…he also ruins a lot of cars and doesn’t pay for the damages.”

“That seems pretty accurate.”

“That is accurate. It’s the most accurate analysis I’ve ever made.”

“Hahaha, you just…you just said…”

“Dan…be a professional.”

“Erm, yes…I will be. So, I’ll let you rate this one. How many bottles of multi-vitamins would you say this movie is worthy of?”

“Four out of five bottles of multivitamins.”

“That seems pretty high.”

“What would you say?”

“Three bottles.”

“Hmmm…three and a half then?”

“Alright. That works.”

“We rate this movie three and a half bottles of multi-vitamins!”

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