Hank and Dan Movie Reviews – Equilibrium

Hank and Dan Review Equilibrium

“Why isn’t batman wearing his mask?”

“This movie isn’t batman, Hank. It’s called Equilibrium.”

“Equal whatium?”

“Did you just say ‘whatium’.”

“I don’t know whatium your talking about. Don’t get off topic, Dan. We have to review this batman movie.”

“This isn’t a batman movie!”

“Whatium?”

“Oh my…geeeeeeeerd….alright, whatever you say. Let’s just review this movie.”

“This batman movie.”

“Yea, whatever. What did you think of it?”

“Action! Action! Action! And 006 was in the beginning of it!”

“006?”

“Yea, 006. From that game we used to play on N64 all the time.”

“Did you just make a Goldeneye reference?”

“Hecks yea I did. Remember playing that game? We would play it with real friends that were right in the room! We had real friends, Dan!”

“I didn’t know you back then…”

“Oh…yea…well, you had real friends, Dan!”

“Yay! But for real…we need to review this movie.”

“Remember…haha…remember the gun named PP7?”

“Uhhh…”

“Hahahaha…7 is a funny number.”

“Sure, alright then. Are you done now?”

“Remember hiding in the bathroom stalls in that one map? And then jumping out to surprise the persons whose screen you were looking at that wasn’t looking at yours because everyone agreed not to do that! Remember?”

“Hank…”

“Remember having all of those characters and still picking Boris every time?”

“He had on a fun shirt…”

“Rem…remember when you started clicking pens thinking it was cool because you saw him do it in the movie?”

“It was cool…”

“Man, you were so lame…”

“I was cool…”

“Remember when you bleached your hair…”

“Hank! Alright, enough of this. We need to focus on this movie review.”

“And then once your hair was blonde you…”

“SO IN THIS MOVIE PEOPLE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL EMOTIONS!”

“You would always dye it…”

“FEELING EMOTIONS IS PUNISHABLE BY LAW!”

“…different colors every day…”

“BATMAN IS A SERVANT TO THIS CAUSE!”

“Hahaha, you said batman…”

“Hank!

“Dan!”

“Hank…concentrate on this movie review…please.”

“Pretty please?”

“Pretty please…”

“With cherries on top?”

“You know what? I’m done.”

“Done? With what?”

“This review. You ruined it.”

“How did I ruin it?”

“By Hanking it up!”

“Hanking is a thing? Cool.”

“No, Hanking is not really a thing, I just made it up.”

“Well I’m making it a thing.”

“You can’t just make it a thing.”

“Sure I can.”

“What are you doing? Get off my desk.”

“I’m Hanking!”

“Where did you even get that shaving cream?”

“I had it in my pocket.”

“Why?”

“I get hungry.”

“You eat shaving cream?”

“Only Gillette.”

“Why is that?”

“Because…it’s the best a man can…”

“DON’T PUT THE SHAVING CREAM ON THE CEILING!

“Everyone’s doing it, Dan. Get with the times.”

“You are the only person ‘Hanking’.”

“I was maybe a minute ago. Check the internet. Hanking is huge!”

“How is Hanking so popular already?”

“It’s the times, man.”

“…hand me the shaving cream.”

“There you go. Climb on up.”

“So, what would you rate this movie?”

“You mean in terms of bottles of multivitamins?”

“Yes.”

“4 out of 5. You?”

“That sounds good.”

“Now move over so I can Hank up that spot.”

“Whatium?”

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