The Enchanted Spectacles – By Dan Leicht
“Oh hey, Nina. Are those new glasses?”
“Yup, I got them from…”
“Hold up, I already know where you got them from.”
“Hm? Where then?”
Well…you were out of moist toilets in your oven so you went grocery shopping for scuba gear in the athletic department of a nearby toy store. There is where you met a man, not a normal man mind you, but a strange one, something was off about him, something very strange.
“Hello,” you probably said.
But when he turned around you realized he wasn’t a man at all! He was a dragon! And his name was Rupert! So you pet him and gave him a treat and asked where they kept the glasses. He told you how you must have walked into the wrong store and the wrong aisle due to your lack of not having any glasses. He pointed you in the right direction, but didn’t open the door for you, so you smacked into it and it was really funny – I was there and laughed.
“Dang!” you shouted out maybe.
And then you got back into your automatic car and typed in the destination in which Rupert pointed to without actually saying aloud and you somehow knew the name of without seeing it.
The car, being an automatic, took off on its own and left you in the parking lot of the toy store. Being the resourceful person that you might be, you called for your private jet. It picked you up and soon you found yourself in front of the appropriate store. You stepped inside and instantly started falling down the long never ending staircase you didn’t notice. Sometime later, bones having been broken and healed on the long trip down, you land in front of a desk. Behind the desk a small man emerged, about the size of a miniature man. He had on thick rimmed glasses, a long straggly beard, and wings protruding out of his back. You picked him up and shouted something like “Where are the glasses?” until you realized you were underwater.
Once you found a fishbowl to put over your head so you could breathe for the next five minutes you started walking around the underwater glasses store with the small man under your arm – in your armpit, it was uber gross.
“Put me down!” he shouted – his name is Pishlemtickens by the way, incase like…you were wondering.
“What is it now?” you most likely said.
“I have to tinkle,” he replied most likely.
“Fairies don’t do that.”
“We sure do!”
And so you got nervous and put him down, but little did you know…or maybe tiny did you know, that tinkle met “USE MAGIC TO ESCAPE!”
The fairy through a smoke bomb at the ground and shouted something in a crazy dialect that probably meant he knew another language.
When the smoke cleared he was gone, but something had been left behind. You walked over to it, the something left behind, you picked it up, the something left behind, you put it on, the something left behind, and like magic you could see! Because it was his glasses he had left behind!
“Hooray,” you maybe said before coming to work and walking up to me and having me noticing your glasses you wanted me to notice.
By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) October 22nd 2014
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