Nina’s Broomstick – The 44th Story in The #HankSaga (The 4th Story for #HankWeek!) – By Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga
“This broomstick is super old, just kind of wish I had a new one.”
“You can borrow mine!”
“You brought your own broom to work?”
“Yeah, it was on our supplies list. Didn’t you get one?”
“You mean like the kind of lists we got in middle school for school supplies? I didn’t get one when I started here…”
“Maybe you’re just not special enough.”
“Wha? Who? Me? I’m all sorts of special. Just let me use your broomstick.”
Nina rolls her eyes and hands her broomstick over to Dan. He grabs it in his strongest hand (which one?!) and places it between his legs.
“Watch this!” he yells.
Dan slams his left foot on the ground three times and then his right four times and then…leaps into the air! And falls to the ground injuring himself in the process.
“Ow, what kind of broom is this?”
“A regular broom? What do you mean?” asks Nina.
“I thought you were handing me a magic broom!”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because this is a #HankSaga story, gosh, don’t you read these each week?”
“I guess not. I’ve been in most of them, but like, never really read any of them.”
“Why did you just slant a couple words like that?”
“Why are you using ‘that’ word when you know you’re not supposed to? Hmm?”
“Fine. I see, here’s your broom back.”
Dan hands the broom over to Nina and walks away towards the Men’s room to tie his shoelaces under the running water of the faucet.
Nina slams her left foot on the ground three times and then her right foot four and then…TAKES OFF! She flies around Blue Spaghetti’s and almost knocks over Gina as she is carrying a plate of gluten-free pasta to table seven. MC Frisbee Rockstar dodges being hit and falls into a nearby birthday cake – ruining a Chihuahua’s third birthday, and she just misses giving Cinta a high-five.
“What? How are you doing ____? I thought you said ____ was just a regular broom?”
“Doooooon’t juuuuust puuuut a spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace insteeeeaaaaaaad of saaaaaaaaaaaaying ______________________,” said Nina as she flew around the room at high speeds which somehow causes her to say her words longer – perhaps in an effort to be heard with each passing around the room.
“Can you let me try?” asks Dan.
“Ooooooooooooooonly iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif yoooooooooooooou saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay theeeeeeeeeeeeeee maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiic woooooooooooooooooooord.”
Dan looks around to make sure nobody is looking.
“Fine. I’ll say it.”
“Hooray! Here’s the broom. Now remember don’t hold your breath this time and listen for the beat to start.”
“There’s a beat?” asks Dan.
“Do you hear it?”
“Did you just say the magic word? Wait…I do hear it.”
Dan does those foot things I’ve already written about twice and takes off, heading straight upward and through the ceiling and the roof and stuff. He blows past Rupert, who was sleeping on the roof. The dragon, Rupert, looks up from his sleep and to the screaming maniac in the sky. Soon the dragon lifts off and heads towards Dan.
“Rupert! This is pretty awesome!”
Rupert winks and pushes on faster than Dan. Soon it starts to get harder and harder to travel upwards, the atmosphere smiles at them trying to motivate them to keep pushing. Eventually they both enter space and look at one another, wondering if they’re heads are supposed to explode or something.
“Huh, what do you know?” says Dan. “Race you to the moon!”
The two of them race as fast as they can to the moon. Rupert gets in front of Dan at the last minute but isn’t able to slow down in time and lands in a crater, thus creating a crater within the crater upon impact.
“Dude, you okay?”
Rupert rolls over and gets back to his claws, or feet or something. He flaps his bright red wings to make sure they still work and then glares down Dan and motions his eyes towards the nearest star, which is like, nowhere near them in any realistic terms.
“Now this is a #HankSaga story!”
The two of them race once again, into the darkness of space, and eventually reach the planet of Hopulor.
“Uhhh, Rupert. Are they all pointing ray-guns at us?”
Just as they space men are about to open fire on Dan and Rupert a letter arrives. A space man mail man walks over to Dan to deliver the letter. Dan opens the letter and Maria jumps out and pulls them in with her. Before sealing the envelope she puts a new sticker on it and changes the ship-to.
“Maria, you just ruined a super cool scene. I was going to bust out my karate, maybe some wrestling moves…”
“You’re welcome,” says Maria with a wink at the reader.
By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) October 23rd 2014
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