Ninja Nina Nine – The 49th Story in The #HankSaga – by Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga


Ninja Nina Nine – The 49th Story in The #HankSaga – by Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga


“This title doesn’t even make sense. There’s no way this can be the ninth Ninja Nina story! It’s only like the second time she’s been a ninja! Dan, are you even reading these stories over again before writing new ones? I feel like you’re not. But whatever…write the story. I’m sure it will be super awesome and loved by everyone anyway.”

“MC Frisbee Rockstar, are you finished? Because I really need to get writing this story. It’s getting kind of late and I have work in the morning and I’ve been reading all day because books are awesome and then after I ate dinner I was like ‘oh, man! The Hank Saga!’ in my head because yelling that wouldn’t make any sense to say unless I was around someone else who knows the Hank Saga but I wasn’t because my roommate has most certainly never even heard about these stories or even really cared so I’m going to get started on writing this now so I can go to bed.

“Okay, but make sure you let everyone know that this is really Ninja Nina Two, and not nine, because this title makes no sense.”

“This title makes total sense. Because this story is about the ninth time Nina became a ninja. She had to wear her black belt once more to fight off the incredible foe that was the super assassin named Jenn The Yoga Instructor.”

“Jenn The Yoga Instuctor?”

“Yes Jenn The Yoga Instuctor.”

“She doesn’t sound very tough, Dan.”

“Oh but she is. Quite tough actually. This one time, I heard this from a buddy of mine, she picked up the entire yoga studio and moved it onto the other side of the road so they could be that much closer to the coffee shop where they buy their expensive coffee to enjoy after doing yoga for hours and need something to wash away the taste of that weird green stuff they drank before actually doing the yoga. They call it a ‘cleanse’, but who knows what they’re even cleansing their bodies of. But anyway, Jenn The Yoga Instuctor was getting out of hand when she wanted to move the studio yet again, but this time onto a mountaintop so they could look upon the city with a great view as they practiced their yoga.”

“Okay, what’s the problem with that?”

“Well, they wanted to take the coffee shop with them. As well as a certain restaurant…”

“Blue Spaghetti’s?”

“Yup. The very restaurant we’re in right now.”

“How did she stop Jenn The Yoga Instuctor?”

“Let me tell you the story and you’ll find out. So, Nina was raking the leaves off the roof when she noticed Jenn The Yoga Instuctor doing backflips along with twelve other yoga people up to the building.”

“How many people came with her?”

“I don’t know.”

“But you just said…”

“I don’t know, man. But anyway, Nina noticed them and knew what she had to do before they even reached the door to the restaurant. She twirled the rake over her head in a super crazy awesome ninja style way and jumped from the building to oppose them.

Jenn The Yoga Instuctor raised her hand into the air to signal her students to halt. She glared into the eyes of Nina as Nina was glaring into her eyes and saw in her pupils her own eyes so that she, Jenn The Yoga Instuctor, would see her eyes in her eyes and there was this like mirror effect where they both saw each other’s eyes in their own eyes while looking into the other’s eyes.”

“Dude, you’re blowing my mind, man.”

“I know right?” So next Nina said something tough like, ‘don’t come any closer or else I’ll sing you a song about making egg salad,’ and Jenn The Yoga Instuctor was all like, ‘don’t tell me what to do, nerd,’ and Nina was all like, ‘are you sure we’re using the apostrophes and commas correctly in this paragraph?’ and Jenn The Yoga Instuctor was like, ‘what paragraph?’ and then they started fighting! Nina knew Jenn The Yoga Instuctor’s plan to take the restaurant away, partly from her intuition and also because Jenn The Yoga Instuctor kept announcing it really loud so that Nina would know what she was planning to do with the restaurant. Jenn The Yoga Instuctor powered up by meditating and floating high into the air and sucking a cloud into her lungs and using it to bulk up her muscles and Nina powered up my breaking the rake in two and twirling the pieces in her hands really fast. Before Jenn The Yoga Instuctor could make it back down to the ground Ninja Nina has already taken out eleven and a half of her students, maybe a whole one after the eleventh, but I’m not sure. Jenn The Yoga Instuctor came down and was furious with Ninja Nina. Their eyes did that weird thing again I mentioned earlier and then they began to fight for real this time. Jenn The Yoga Instuctor was shooting small clouds from her hands and Ninja Nina was deflecting them with her sticks and then it started to rain like it does in the movies during really cool fight scenes and there was lighting and also Hank and Rupert watching from above the rain clouds using binoculars and eating popcorn and drinking iced tea with lots of sugar in it. Rupert told Hank he wanted to get in closer, but Hank didn’t want to leave their spot in case another man on a dragon came and took it after they left.”

“What happened with the fight?”

“Ninja Nina was able to convince Jenn The Yoga Instuctor that there was a much better restaurant down the street a bit. Which wasn’t true, but the other place had a trendier menu, a place that sells green juice smoothies and black coffee using all natural something or other.”

“Ah, I see. So this was the ninth time Nina became a ninja? What about all the other times.”

“Those are stories for another time…”


“I don’t know…I really don’t know…”




By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) November 24th 2014

Follow Dan on Twitter @Deeliopunk

and Facebook Deeliopunk-Author

Now you can follow @HankSaga on Twitter!

Check out all the Hank Saga stories so far! And find some of your favorites available to read on Wattpad!

And be sure to take a look at the Hank and Dan’s Movie Reviews!


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