The Sniffer – The 51st Story in The #HankSaga – By Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga

The Sniffer

The Sniffer – The 51st Story in The #HankSaga – By Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga


There once was a man from Balooe. He liked to sniff stale glue. But as it turns out, the glue ran out. And now he wants to sniff you!

 “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Is that a poem at the beginning of this story? What’s it all mean? Seems pretty random.”

“It’s the song parents sing to their children to scare the crap out of them. You were never told about ‘The Sniffer’ when you were growing up?”

“Nooo. Who’s ‘The Sniffer’?”

“Ugh, didn’t you listen to the song?”

“Kind of. Something about sniffing shoes…radios…”

“You didn’t even really listen to the song did you…”

“I did not.”

“You’re hopeless. I’ll sing it again for you. There once was a man from Balooe. He liked to sniff stale glue. But as it turns out, the glue ran out. And now he wants to sniff you!

“Why does he want to sniff me though?”

“Because that’s what he does. He’s ‘The Sniffer’!”

“Why though?”

“I can answer that question!”

“Who are you?”



“Shut up, Hank. What is it you’re doing here, Mr. Sniffer?”

“I’m here to sniff everything I possibly can! Muahahahahaha!”

“This is a restaurant, so I’m sure there’s plenty. But there is also the matter of sanitation. We can’t have you walking around sniffing everything. Only sooome of the stuff…maybe…but you’ll have to shave your beard.”

“Never! A real sniffer never shaves his beard!”

“Yeah! Us real sniffers never shave our beards!”

“Shut up, Hank. And Mr. Sniffer, you’re beard is filthy. What is that stuck in it? Is that hard candy? What are you doing with candy stuck in your beard?”

“My…my pockets are full.”

“Well that’s too bad. You’re going to have to clean up your beard, or put a beard net over it.”

“We shall not be confined to nets because of our beards!”

“….Hank, you don’t even have a beard. You have a goatee made of wood shavings.”

“It counts! Tell him, Sniffs, tell him my beard totally counts.”

“It doesn’t count.”

“Seee, Dan, it totally co…wait…it doesn’t count?”

“Well, I mean. Is it actually growing out of your face? Or did you just like, glue those shavings onto your face?”

“A gentleman never reveals his tricks!”

“I think you confusing gentlemen with magicians.”

“Ohhh, that’s right. Pick a card, any card.”

“You don’t have any cards. Anywaaaay, Sniffer, you mentioned earlier you could explain why you feel the need to sniff things. Care to explain?”

“Because that’s just what sniffers do.”

…wait wait wait. What was that? Is this even a Hank Saga story? Who’s the Sniffer? Where’s the action? I read last week’s. Are they going to be saving Rupert anytime soon? He went away with the pirates! I’m all worried about him and stuff. What’s going on? We’d better find out about Rupert next week. And if you’re going to spend this week’s story introducing this “Sniffer” guy then he’d better be in the story when they go to save Rupert. Maybe his sniffing power leads them to Rupert? Oh, man, now I’m just handing ideas over to the lazy writer of these stories. I expect to be mentioned in the credits if you’re going to be using my idea!

– Pishlemtickens



By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) December 8th,  2014

Follow Dan on Twitter @Deeliopunk

and Facebook Deeliopunk-Author

Now you can follow @HankSaga on Twitter!

Check out all the Hank Saga stories so far! And find some of your favorites available to read on Wattpad!

And be sure to take a look at the Hank and Dan’s Movie Reviews!



The Hanksaga and all characters included are creations of Dan Leicht (@Deeliopunk)


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