Cats are Roses: And Other Tales (#HankSaga Story #56) By @Deeliopunk @HankSaga


Cats are Roses: And Other Tales (#HankSaga Story #56) By: @Deeliopunk @HankSaga


“Hank…”

“Yes, Dan?”

“What’s up with this title?”

“What do you mean? We’re going to tell a few different tales this week as a way to mix it up a bit.”

“But that’s not how we do these stories. We can’t just mix up how they’re done.”

“Have you read the first Hank Saga story compared to the last one we just did? These stories have no form. They’re just like a surprise every week. I don’t know even know what color my shoes are anymore.”

“I don’t think the color of your shoes was ever an important detail to these stories.”

“Or was it? You have no idea anymore.”

Hank’s Shoes

“Hank…we’re not about to do a story about your shoes.”

“Oh yes we are. Where’s the narrator?”

“He’s off today. Said something about having to narrate ‘real literature’. Whatever that means.”

“You’d think he’d recognize the tremendous work we put into these stories each week.”

“I know right? Those title banners don’t make themselves you know. That takes at least a minute of hard work.”

“Oh I believe you, Dan. It’s like we’re on the same wavelength sharing one mind.”

“Well technically…”

“Okay, so you’re going to have to narrate. Just like old times.”

“But it’s been so long. I’d rather get our narrator back.”

“You can do this, Dan. I believe in you.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Cats are Roses

“Wait what just happened? I thought we were doing the shoes story.”

“No I didn’t like that one. This one will be much better.”

“Okay, so how should I start it?”

“I don’t know. You’re the writer. Think of something.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. Say something like ‘In a world where roses aren’t what they appear to be…’.”

“I don’t get what you’re trying to say there. It’s just not making any sense.”

“Okay, okay. New story idea.”

Pishlemtickens Smells

“I don’t think this one is much better.”

“Stop talking, Dan. Just start with the story right after the title, okay?”

“Okay. I got this.”

“All right. We’re going to try this again.”

Ham from Space

In a world where ham doesn’t come from a deli, one man, with an eyepatch and a backstory you won’t believe (also a mullet) takes on the alien horde approaching earth. The alien ham horde!

“Wow, this story sounds super awesome. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

“Really? You think i’m doing a good job?”

“You’re doing a great job, but we’re ruining it with all the dialogue again.”

“Okay, we really have to stop doing that.”

“One more time?”

“Yeah, one more time. Let’s do this.”

Turkey Surprise

“Wait what?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Where are you getting these titles from, Hank?”

“I’m just making them up as we go along.”

“Shouldn’t I be making up the titles if i’m the one writing the story?”

“Hahaha, that’s cute. Oh, you’re serious?”

“Yeah i’m serious. I should be making up the titles.”

“Yeah…I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Well…you picked the title last week…and it was pretty lame.”

“No it wasn’t. ‘Hank’s Adventure’ is a great title.”

“Not really. I mean it’s pretty basic. People want something with a little more pizzazz.”

“Ooo that’s a nice word.”

“Isn’t it?”

“Reminds me of pizza though…”

“Why is that bad?”

“Gluten-free remember?”

“Oh yeah…hahahaha.”

“Hows that funny?”

“Because i’m a fictional character and can’t have food allergies!”

“You can if I write it that way.”

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Oh I dare. Welcome to the world of expensive tasteless food.”

“Nnnnnooooooooooo!”

“Muahahahaha!”


 

HANKSAGABANNERHSO

By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) Jan. 26, 2015

Follow Dan on Twitter @Deeliopunk

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Find all 50+ #HankSaga stories


Wait…Hank writes POETRY?


The #HankSaga and all characters are creations of@Deeliopunk

 

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