#ClassicHankSaga Friday – Hankversation (Story #18 In The #HankSaga) By @Deeliopunk / @HankSaga #FridayReads

Hankversation – Story #18 In The #HankSaga

By @Deeliopunk / @HankSaga

Check out the original post for this story on tumblr


“Hey.”

“Hi.”

“Heeeeeeeey!”

“Hi.”

“I just saw this guy at the grocery store!”

“Which…who…which guy are you talking about, it’s not like you’re holding up a picture or anything for me to be able to tell whom you are speaking of in this current moment of occurring.”

“I don’t know his name, but he was like, made of wood and stuff, and he totally saved this lady from a massive headache!”

“Oh, that sounds like Hank. Did he shoot lasers out of his mouth?”

“Yea, I didn’t see you there though…how did you…WITCH!!!! You’re a WIIIITCH!”

“It’s called the internet you petty foolish fool.”

“I have that on my sandal screen, look.”

“That’s awfully neat, now tell me, what else happened? How bad was this lady’s headache?”

“Oh, it was bad man. The headache was so crazy that it projected itself out of the lady’s head and onto the ground, like a ghost.”

“And Hank fought it?”

“Yea! It was awesome!”

“How’d it go? Tell me tell me!”

“Well…there I was, trying to buy my loops of colored fruit when out of somewhere I hadn’t been aware there was something emerged nothing and I went to the register. The lady in front of me started screaming and the cashier was licking stamps to send splinters to his neighbors until he looked up to see what was going on and realized that he wasn’t on break and would have to do something about it so he did as he began doing things that would most certainly bring what was going on to an inevitable end at some point after some other things took place that would make this situation seem rather important and make you wonder if everyone will be all okay at the end when you know most certainly that they will unless they try to throw a curve ball like a killing off a character that wasn’t very important anyway and have been building up to it all week as you wait to see who it is and when it’s finally revealed you say ‘who is that?’ so her head was hurting and out of somewhere the headache just…threw up itself.”

“It…it what?”

“Dude, I don’t know, it was in her head one second, and then, the next it was on the ground walking around and stuff.”

“What did Hank do?”

“Only the most craziest badassiest things I have ever seen!”

“Like what?”

“You ever see an ostrich on a pogo stick do a back flip into a pool of jam without any trousers on?”

“Who’s not wearing the trousers, the pool or the ostrich?”

“The pogo stick.”

“Hmmm, nope, can’t say I’ve seen that before.”

“Alright, well what happened next was nothing like that, but just as groovy.”

“Groovy?”

“Yea, that’s what I said, groovy.”

“Does anyone still say that?”

“D.e.e.L does, like, all the tiiiime…aaaalllll the tiiiiiime…aaaaaallllll of the tiiiiiiime.”

“Who’s D.e.e.L?”

“Psshh…waaaa….pssshhaaa….wwwaaaaaah? Only the most handsomest writer in all of the world. He even has his own blogs, laptop, cell phone, car, haircut, he’s got it all!”

“But does he have….’It’?”

“Whooooaaa…you just make a ‘Pistol Wrists’ reference? So you dooo know D.e.e.L then?”

“Of course! Hahaha, I was just messing with you, he is AWESOME!!!”

“I know right?!”

“Yes…you do. Now what happened with Hank.”

“Oh yea, he beat the headache and saved the day.”

“Oh.”

“Yea, it was pretty groovy.”

“Hmmm…that’s nice.”

“Yea….it was.”

“Care to explain to me what happened? Hoooow he defeated the headache?”

“Not really.”

“What? Why not?”

“Kind of hungry.”

“If I make you a sandwich will you tell the rest of the story?”

“Only if you promise not to pick me up afterwards and twirl me around in the air.”

“Ugh, fiiine…but no lemons on your sandwich then.”

“Ugh…fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.”

“Here.”

“You made it already?”

“Yea, you were saying fiiiiine for like niiiiiiine minutes.”

“That’s less than twelve minutes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. But tell me the rest of the story now.”

“Alright, so where was I, oh yea right, so the talking salamander was trying to talk down the headache but nothing he was saying was working, so the headache kept getting more and more annoyed, getting bigger and bigger. Hank stepped out from behind the register and tried to make a run for the door, but stopped to use the bathroom first, took no time at all really so I assume he didn’t wash his hands. Once outside the bathroom he shouted ‘CLAY DOESN’T GROW ON TREES!!!’  and the headache got reeeaaally upset by this and ran up to Hank, picked him up, and threw him into the medication isle. Once there Hank knew what he had to do, he opened up some pain medication and took a couple pills, because he had a bad headache. Then he ran back up to the monster and threw a magazine at it.”

“Why didn’t he just give the pills to the monster? That would have solved everything.”

“Well yea, but then the story wouldn’t be as good. So, once the magazine had struck the monster(the headache is now being called a monster because it is easier to type rather than continuously typing headache over and over again and going back to edit it when I write heachache or headach or hedaint or heaaaadacher, so now it’s just monster) and fell to the ground landing on page 7 the monster bent down to look at the picture of the pretty lady, and thaaat is when Hank walked up to the monster, grabbed it’s head, and shoved his knee up into the monster’s face.”

“Hank did that?”

“No not really. But once he did it the monster went crashing backwards holding its nose and crying for its mamma that doesn’t exist, which upset the monster when Hank began to rub that fact in its face.”

“That’s harsh man, you sure Hank did that too?”

“No, I just made that part up. The monster kept crying for about twenty minutes before Hank realized that he could just shoot a laser beam out of his mouth and end all of this right away.”

“Did he?”

“Yea, it was soooooo groooovy.”

“Well, I must say, after not having a Hank story for so long, this was rather a disappointment. I mean, no other characters showed up? It had some random moments and everything, the pogo stick thing was a nice touch, but like, what else?”

“Ummm…Nina was there too…”

“Was she?!”

“Yup, picking her nose, and ummm…DJ Rae Rae….doing the same.”

“Really?”

“Yea, totally gross man.”

“Wow, well….that’s rather odd I guess…that’ll do.”

“May I have some lemons upon the remainder of my sandwich?”

“Why certainly, Sir. Would a spot of tea suit you well?”

“Oh it quite would indeed. I do say, that tie you’re wearing looks rather new, may I borrow it if such a time comes close where I might be wearing it.”

“No…no you may not.”

“Well what happens if I need it?”

“You go buy one yourself.”

“With what?”

“Money.”

“With whaaat money?”

“The money you get from working.”

“From whaaat wooorking?”

“That thing you do every mon-fri with regret and remorse and a deep loathing depression for the way your life has turned out.”

“Well, somebooody needs a backrub.”

“Stay away from me!”

“Tickle tickle tickle.”

“Wait…”

“What?”

“Are you…the talking salamander from your story?”

“Yes, and aren’t you the Hank from my story?”

“I believe so.”

“Wanna go get some jams and let the dogs out yo?”

“Hecks yeeeeeaaaa!”

“I’ll drive!”

“No, I’ll drive!”

“No….I’ll drive…”

“Williamette?!”

“MY VAAAAN!!!”


deeliopunkcombanner

By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) July 3rd,  2015

Follow Dan on Twitter @Deeliopunk

and Facebook Deeliopunk-Author

Now you can follow @HankSaga on Twitter!

Find all 60+ #HankSaga stories

Hank and Dan Movie Reviews

Check out the NEW SITE DanLeicht.com 


Wait…Hank writes POETRY?


The #HankSaga and all characters are creations of @Deeliopunk

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s