It’s been one grueling week of waiting since our hero Hank was shot out of a canon existing in an alternate dimension where people wear socks on their hands instead of their shoes and everything tastes like mint. Such a long week that it in fact feels like it’s been months. The exact amount of months remains a mystery however…since the writer of these stories is an english major (even though it might not always be apparent).
If you don’t want to get lost in this incredibly complex story line make sure to check out The Adventures of Hank and Rupert #1 (Don’t call it a reboot…we’ve seriously been here for years…”we” meaning these fictional characters and myself)
The Adventures of Hank and Rupert #2 (The 61st Story in The HankSaga)
“Hank? Hank, you find out what smell was making that noise?”
Rupert walks to the edge of the cave while the narrator contemplates copy and pasting an even larger chunk from the last story, but he stops himself and instead relies on Rupert’s really good eyesight to spot Hank in the alternate dimension and travel to him with the speed of convenience.
“Rupert! Where have you been? I’ve been trapped here all alone for what feels like months!”
“Would have gotten here sooner but Dan decided to start doing #ClassicHankSaga Fridays instead of writing new stories.”
“Seriously? Couldn’t he just do both?”
“He is…just took him a while to realize that. You know how writers can get.”
“I thought we talked about using that kind of lingo in these stories, Hank…”
“Sorry, it’s just been so long. Anyway, do your teeth taste like mint?”
“Now that you mention it,” says Rupert as he licks his teeth with his giant dragon tongue, “I’m not sure i’ve ever had mint before. So I can’t be certain, but whatever, maybe.”
Hank looks down at his watch and realizes they’re going to miss the season premier of their favorite show which won’t return until October 7th, but with Dan’s crazy schedule these days he just doesn’t know if they’ll make it back to the cave in time.
“I don’t remember ordering a pizza, do you?”
“Not that I can remebAAAAAAH!”
Before Hank has time to check his watch for the time again a raccoon the size of a giant sphinx in Egypt comes barreling down the cliff they were next to with a large double crust (gluten filled!) pizza in hand. The raccoon’s name is Carl and this is his last stop before he gets to go back to his apartment to stare at his phone while wondering if his crush will ever respond to his weird excited-face emoji that looks like someone smiling with braces.
“14.99 unless you have a COUPON!”
“Just give him the coupon, Rupert! Give him the coupon!”
“I don’t have a coupon!”
Does Rupert really not have the coupon? Did Hank actually order this pizza and just forget? Is Hank even wearing a watch? Find out NEXT WEEK in The Adventures of Hank and Rupert #3!!!
By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) August 31, 2015
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The #HankSaga and all characters are creations of @Deeliopunk