Rupert’s Island – The 46th Story in The #HankSaga by Dan Leicht @Deeliopunk @HankSaga

 

“Hank, where’s Rupert been? We haven’t seen him around here in a while.”

“He’s busy saving mermaids off the coast of Zelsbar.”

“Never heard of it. Is it far?”

“About a mile past Kitmaw I’d say.”

“Riiight…so…why aren’t you helping him?”

“He didn’t even ask!”

Hank begins to shout and flip over the tables of Blue Spaghetti’s in a rage that can only be described as goplorticapblistic – since there isn’t a word yet powerful enough to describe it.

“Hank, calm down. Let’s go find him together.”

“Wait who are you? There hasn’t been any dialogue tags, so I don’t know whose talking.”

“It’s me Nina.”

“You?! After all you’ve done to me! I have a dragon instead of a van because of you!”

“Isn’t a dragon better than a van though?”

“Yeah…it’s pretty cool. But doesn’t cover up what you did in the first ever #HankSaga story!”

“Dude, chill out and get on the magic barstool.”

Both of them climb onto the magic barstool and fly up and through the roof of Blue Spaghetti’s (you’d think Blue would fire them for constantly breaking through the roof, but whatever).

“Okay, which way are we headed?” asks Nina as she steers the overturned barstool and uses the seat as the steering wheel.

“I thought you knew? You’re the one that wanted to go on this little trip. I’ll pull up the directions on mAPPer.”

“Hank….whatever you do…don’t look forward…”

“But forward is my favorite directions to looooooooooooook!!!”

Ahead of them a mighty tornado approaches, one that apparently came from nowhere since they’re just now noticing it. Nina tries to steer away from it but the powerful vortex pulls them in.

Once inside the tornado they notice a small house in the center as the only thing not flying around in circles. Nina and Hank both maneuver the barstool and are able to break from the vortex on their thousandth time around and land on the porch of the small house.

“I’m not feeling well…” says Hank.

“I’m feeling pretty dizzy myself.”

“No, I mean I don’t think I can make it to school tomorrow…”

“Hank, you don’t have school tomorrow. Do you?”

“Hmm, good question. Let me check my planner. Wait…it’s gone. NOOOOOOO!!!!”

“Get a hold of yourself,” says Nina as she begins to knock on the door to the small house.

Frail footsteps can be heard on the other side of the door, frail footsteps…heading in the other direction!

“Quick, break this door down! Whoever is in there is trying to get away!”

Before Hank can charge up his DoorWreckeRay the door to the small house opens and a frail man stands in the doorway.

“What? But it sounded like you were walking the other direction,” says Nina with a baffled look on her face.

“I like to walk backwards, makes the world seem more exciting,” says the frail voice of the frail man.

“Makes sense,” says Hank as he pushes open the door wider and steps inside. “Dude, you have an entire arcade in here?”

“Almost…” says the voice, but he’s cut off when Nina rushes in past him to the arcade.

“This is totally radical to the extreme!” shouts Nina.

Hank and the man with the frail voice just look at her in confusion.

“What?” they both say at the same time as if they’re twins or like best friends forever or something.

“Sorry…just excited is all….”

“Understandable,” says the frail voice. “By the way, tell your narrator my name is Andrew. I’m getting rather annoyed with this ‘frail voice’ nonsense. I ate a rather large burrito for lunch and fear it’s clogged up my throat somewhat. Perhaps I should have a glass of water…”

“Sure thing Andrew. Hey, Dan! Quit being lazy and learn your character’s names! Yeah, I’m talking to you. The lazy bum leaning back in the blue recliner drinking from a big white mug that says ‘Groovy Cool Writers’ on it that was given to you by Cinta. Get it together, man! And give me some tokens so I can play these games already,” said Hank in a wimpy wimp voice like a big ol’ baby.

“Hank, don’t be mean to the narrator. You know he has the power to change the story right? Oh no…it’s happening.”

Suddenly I change the story so that they are no longer in an awesome arcade in the middle of a tornado but rather on a deserted island in the middle of the ocean! Muahahahaha!!! Take that, Hank!

“What? But…”

Oh and the island is filled with tokens! And no games to use them on! Muahahahahaha!!!!

“A cruel narrator indeed,” says rude Andrew.

“Let’s use this time to find Rupert,” says Nina.

“What makes you think Rupert is here?” says dumb ol’ Hank.

“That big huge sign below what I’m saying right now.”

“Oh, thaaaaaaat sign,” says dumb ol’ Hank.

“Let’s find him so he can give me a lift back to my small house in the tornado,” says rude Andrew.

“Wait, how’d you know Rupert is a dragon?” asks Nina.

“He’s a dragon?! I thought he was just one of your weird friends. Heck, the darn narrator can place us wherever he likes. Figured a Rupert could at least put us back where we started,” says rude Andrew in a rude voice.

“We started at the restaurant,” says Nina, “Dan, think you can take us back there?”

“We came all this way to help Rupert didn’t we? We can’t head back now!” demands dumb ol’ Hanky poo.

“ROOOOOOOOOOOOAR!” says a sound effect from close by.

“Rupert! You’re here! Just in time to get us to 1,000 words in the story!”

“What are you all doing here?” says Rupert maybe – he’s growling, so I have no idea.

“We’re here to help you!” shouts Nina.

“I don’t need any help. And this is a private island!” roars the crimson dragon.

“But…we just thought,” says Nina in an attempt to sound adorable.

“Come on, I’ll take you all home,” says Rupert maybe. “Wait, who’s the new guy?”

“I’m Andrew,” says the rude man with the frail voice.

By Dan Leicht (D.e.e.L) October 27th 2014

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